Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Living alone

I can't take much more of this living with my family thing. I'm 25 and I think it's pretty normal for me not to want to live at home anymore. Woke up around 10:30 this morning, went downstairs, and was pleasantly surprised to find nobody around. Unfortunately, people were around - I just couldn't see them right away. Reed was still in bed. My mom was outside. I attempted to suckle in the peace and quiet for a short time. Made (and ruined) some oatmeal. Drank some juice. Checked my emails/facebook. You know, the usual morning activities of an unemployed person.

Anyway, the point of this story is that living with my mom is so fucking stressful. She is certainly not mean or rude in anyway. She just has a lot of energy and can't be still. I don't like this. Sometimes it is okay to just chill out, relax, and not worry about things. My mom doesn't understand that. I guess it is a personality thing. As soon as she came in from outside I was bombarded with conversation that I didn't want to participate in. How was the job interview? What was the company? Where can I buy disposable customizable cups? Where is the music festival that you're going to this weekend? How far is that from Springfield? Are you doing anything today? Do you want to help clean out the basement? What should we have for dinner?

This was just the tip of the iceberg. There were follow up questions to all of these, and side comments, and unfinished sentences that made no sense. I finished my oatmeal and returned to my bedroom. I don't like to do this because I feel like I get stuck here. I just like to be alone sometimes. And I like to enjoy some quiet time, without worrying about a thousand things. I do enough worrying in my head that if I can have some time where I don't think about stuff it just feels really good.

The 1st time I slept over at Stacey and Stu's apartment, I remember waking up on the futon - they were still in bed, and it was around noon. I cuddled with Dean for a while, and they came in, turned some music on, and made coffee and breakfast. It was all just really lovely. I didn't fill up with my usual morning anxiety which was incredible. I wonder if I lived alone what things would be like. Damn I just rambled about a lot crap. My apologies.

1 comment:

  1. I know what you mean about getting stuck in your room. I obviously don't have any advice as I am back at home due to lack of money. My mom hasn't talked to me for 12 days. It's stupid here.