Monday, April 4, 2011



I am done with my road trip - having good and bad feelings about that.
The trip was spectacular and I loved seeing new places/meeting new people/seeing people I haven't seen for a while/driving/etc. I think it was everything that I wanted it to be. An adventure :)

This weekend was a success as well! Had a surprise bday party for my mom and had about 20 family members come into town for it. She was super surprised, and it was awesome. The whole weekend was a pile of games, playing outside, drinking, making/eating lots of food, and other jovial activities. But now everyone is gone! This means lots of cleanup. Also, tonight will be the first night I am going to sleep in my bed in about a month. I'm strangely excited.

April 1 was my chosen "quit date". Went to the doctor before my road trip, told her I want to not smoke anymore, but I struggle to do that on my own. So I'm taking Wellbutrin (generic-Bupropion) to help. Not supposed to drink very much alcohol while on this drug, so I didn't start taking it this weekend. On the 1st I smoked 2 cigarettes in the morning while I drove home from Michigan. I justified it by thinking that the night before was my last night, but I accidentally fell asleep early before enjoying my last couple of cigarettes. Didn't smoke at all til Saturday evening when my cousin busted out some vanilla clove cigars/cigarettes while we were all playing bags outside. I caved. I had a few that night. My lungs hurt so badly the next day. Yesterday - didn't smoke.

Woke up today wanting to smoke. Nobody is here to distract me. I have bitten off all of my nails. Drinking coffee at the moment.

I'm afraid to leave my house for the next couple of weeks because I'll want to smoke at all the times I usually do. Like while I'm driving, or if I'm hanging out with friends, or drinking. And now the weather is starting to get warm so sitting outside on a warm night hanging out, drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette sounds AMAZING. I need to come up with a new/healthy habit or hobby to replace that one. These are Betsy's suggestions: drawing, painting, ceramics, running, power lifting, jazzercise, volunteering, cleaning, eating celery, needle point, mushroom hunting, or drug dealing. Some things to think about.

Hm, okay. Tons of shit to do today. Gonna get on it. While not smoking.

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